A Personal PSA

I have something to confess, and it is something I'm not proud of saying. However, given the time of year, I feel it's necessary for me to speak up.

As most of you know, I attempted to participate in Camp NaNoWriMo this past month, and I had a good start: writing 3,042 words of my intended goal of 35,000 for the month. Alas, come the third day of the month, my muse decided to vanish for a prolonged period. It had finally decided to return on May 3rd, but the reasons behind its absence is why I've come to the realization I need to come clean.

For those who don't know my history I have battled mental illness for the majority of my life. After years of misdiagnosis from various psychiatrists, it was concluded a couple years ago to be an anxiety disorder. In order to help manage it, I take a prescription medicine. When I'm on it, I'm a pretty normal guy. (My zaniness around the home, notwithstanding.) Without it, I become quite fidgety; displaying various facial ticks, and am unable sit still. Considering my muse went AWOL for a month, you can pretty much guess what happened.

I had been given a 3-month supply of my medicine before relocating to my new home in Florida, and things had been fine. Unfortunately, said supply ran out in late March, and I was running on fumes until this first weekend of April. Personally, I thought I could manage without the medication for a while, but to paraphrase the words of Maury, "My genetic makeup determined that was a lie." When I eventually confessed to my loving wife I was without my medication, she was alarmed (which goes without saying), but she was quick to arrange a doctor's appointment for me to get me back on them. The only problem was, the earliest we could get in was 9 days later. For that period, we were both on pins and needless to see if I could survive for that much longer. (I did, but not without a tense situation caused by an unaware pocket-dial on my part.) Long story short, I finally had my prescriptions refilled this past Thursday, I have been taking them regularly since, and I'm getting back to my semblance of normal.

My main concerns behind my "going without" was the horror stories I had heard regarding American medical costs (i.e. how astronomically high they can be), but thanks to being on my wife's medical insurance plan, they were not as bad as I had initially feared. Regardless, with May being Mental Health Awareness Month, I felt it necessary to share a bit of my recent dilemma.

The moral of the story is to be open with your spouse and/or loved ones because they can provide the care and guidance you need when you feel like a fish out of water.